A Recipe for Creating The Life You Want

Coti Zavala
4 min readSep 30, 2020
Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

Have you ever wanted to gain a new skill but never knew where to start and you gave up before you could even start? Sometimes it is easy for us to get disappointed by the lack of progress and it can be frustrating to feel like you are unable to do something.

Truth is that there is no real enemy but yourself, you are the only person keeping you from that new skill or that final destination. It is easier to convince ourselves that “it takes too much time” or “it is not worth it” than actually finding attainable ways of creating the life you always wanted.

Think of this: a world where you want something and by the snap of your fingers you are able to get it. Sounds pretty neat right? Well, how will you know that by that snapping of fingers your life will suddenly be better? You don’t, humans are meant to fail, and fail again in order to succeed. Believing in failure and letting yourself fail, I promise, will be the first step to letting yourself see all the bad things that are dragging you down.

I have always hated running. Until this year, when I decided that I was going to force myself to like to run. I started to try to go running in the street, running on the treadmill, doing laps, but nothing seemed entertaining enough, it felt like I was just not “meant” for running. That feeling of failure and detachment from running was what intrigued me the most to actually discover if I was capable.

Meanwhile, I read this book “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg and this quote stuck with me “If you believe you can change — if you make it a habit — the change becomes real.” So, I gave it a try and believed that one day I could actually enjoy running, and started making a habit of running with the mentality of liking it, not with the mentality of getting good at it. The result was positive.

Sometimes, we have to believe more in the impact a new habit can make in our lives, than in the actual acquiring of the new habit. Eating healthy or learning a new language is not just a good habit to have because you want to say that you do, but it is a good habit by you choosing that change and that lifestyle.

You have the power to learn a new language in you, that is a fact, the only difference between you and someone who already learned it, is that they created a habit that you do not have yet.

Well, now you might be asking yourself how to actually create a new habit, here it goes:

First step is to find a cue, a trigger that will always push every sense of your body towards that potential new habit. For wanting to learn a language, for example, it might be every time you think or hear of that language. Then, we have the routine, a repeated mental or physical action to alienate with the habit. For example, telling yourself “I have the power to learn this new language and I will”. Finally, we have the reward, something in your brain that makes the routine satisfactory. For our example of having the desire to learn a language is to actually look forward to the learning process.

With that new habit you have just gained a new perspective and mentality as to why you want something, before creating the habit of getting it.

So instead of wishing or dreaming, act. Act and take proactive steps towards the life you want. If you want something, think of strategic ways to create a cue that activates your routine of learning and rewards you with the result that you look for.

As I said before, you are the only person with the power of creating that life that you always wanted. It is not easy, but with the right ingredients you can learn basically any skill, whether that is to want to want something or getting something that you already want.

Let’s not live in a world where snapping our fingers gets us what we want, let’s live in a word where you believe in failure and believe in change.

Believe in failure, see what makes you weak and what makes you strong, leave all the things that make you doubt yourself and know that you can turn those negatives into positives.

One habit at a time, anything in your life is possible.




Coti Zavala

Trying to spread some inspiration and motivation! Student, writer, artist, tutor, friend whatever it is I want to use my experiences to enhance others' lives.